When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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