Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
