he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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