Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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