he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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