She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize