You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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