I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
