What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
