Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
