I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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