I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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