Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
