i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
