just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
