If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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