I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have fence marks all over my body
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
