I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
