Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
