He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
