Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
