For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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