Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
