Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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