Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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