Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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