How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
