we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
