remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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