im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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