i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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