Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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