escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
