You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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