I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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