the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
