does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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