Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Text me some of your sweat
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize