Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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