When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize