honey bunches of taint.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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