What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
