yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
