I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
