my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
