This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
