Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
