Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
