My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
