im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
