I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize