porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
