btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize