I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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