That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize