This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
