When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
