I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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