My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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