Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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