When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
