are you still at the devil's house?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
