Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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