PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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